Beachboys are chronic liars, they lie daily, it's their daily routine and many times they don't even know they are lying. Beachboy is lying automatically, not only in the case of getting advantages, but also just without any reason. The only thing you could call "exception" is, when beachboy is going to loose you because you found the truth about him. In this case - telling you truth (at least partly, as you will never know the whole truth) is the last attempt not to lose you in critical situation. This step (to use an emergency brake) is the last option and this only happens if other ways were already applied without any success.
Here we collected 11 very common lies which you will face with a maasai beachboy:
LIE NR. 1: HE NEVER HAD SEX WITH SWAHILI WOMAN
This lie you will hear in the very beginning. Beachboys already know, that white women are scared because of sexual transmitted diseases. And because they really don't like to use condoms, they will try to convince you that they cannot have any disease, because they really don't fuck. Nothing is more far away from the truth. They are fucking a lot. Everywhere with everyone. Not important with whom. They also are paying to local prostitutes for having sex. And everyone can have it because the price is just very low. They are using services of local girls without any problem always when they want and then after that they will fuck with you. With prostitutes they don't use also any condom. Most of them believe that they cannot catch anything, because after sex they use shower :) Huge lag of education, no feeling of responsibility for others even not for themselves, and no respect to women in general, these all together can put you into the big danger of loosing your health or even your life. Forever. Maasais are fucking with Swahili women without any problems and when they are trying to tell you a different story - they lie.
LIE NR. 2: HE DOESN'T DRINK ALCOHOL
Once again. Nothing is more far away from the truth. They are drinking. At home (many times in hidden way), at Zanzibar, in the streets of DAR, just everywhere. They like to drink and especially in new generation you can find many guys who are already dependent of alcohol in very young age. This dependency will be each year worse and worse because they are loosing control very quickly and very easy. They don't have any special sense of the life, all what they want is just enjoy the moment. Alcohol is the way how to forget on problems or life difficulties, sometimes it's the way for them how to be "a star" in the eyes of others. Now days you also can find some of them, who are drug users and they don't make good reputation of the maasai tribe in the eyes of tourists. Beachboys from maasai tribe are easy recognizable, that's why they should be careful about tribe's reputation, but they don't really care. They are so SELFISH and really SILLY. They can't see any consequences of their terrible behavior at Zanzibar. They are just making the shame to whole culture in visible way, walking drunk on the beaches, and making male prostitution there with head up.
LIE NR. 3: HE IS AT HOME, IN MAINLAND, IN MAASAI BUSH
If you are back in Europe, then very common lie is that he is at home, waiting for your comeback only. Of course he is at Zanzibar, hunting other women to improve his passive income. Sometimes they will send you old picture from home, which they have in the phone in stock gallery and they are ready to use it always when you have doubts. Sometimes they are calling you by video from Zanzibar, where there is some cow near to them and telling you they are home. Yes, home in the bush but with palm trees behind their heads. They don't think you can notice some details and understand they are not at home ,they still count you are stupid enough and they can abuse your trust easily. Many times they don't spend any time with tinny small details about their frauds and lies. Because they are sure, you can find it. Not alone. Not easily. :) They see white women like extra-ordinary silly, because many of them lied already to many white women with a big success.
LIE NR. 4: HE IS NOT MARRIED
He is married in most of cases. All of them who are at Zanzibar are married, you can find an exception very hardly. Of course, he knows, he cannot tell you about that, because "mzungus" don't like. But they are married. To understand this you need to understand that culture a bit. Marriage is very important step in life of the maasai man and everyone needs to be married as soon as possible. It's the thing of the prestige and everyone is doing everything possible to reach this goal as soon as possible. Only issue which can be problem is just money. But they don't need to pay all the cows at one time. Beachboys have a lot of money, that's why, they all are married already. Some of them have already second or third wife. They don't plan with you any future, but sometimes they will use you to go to Europe. Of course they don't have real expectations from it. Lag of education and life they spent in the bush with cows will not allow them to see any reality. After short time in Europe, facing real world there and real problems, seeing they are there not any stars, any heroes, without education, without knowing to read and write, they are in Europe just people of second category and they can and they will feel it. Trash. After this experience most of them will gladly run back home to their maasai heaven. Of course better without you. Just one white woman is always an iron ball on his leg. So after comeback to Tanzania - it's the time for new mzungu and for new adventure in beloved homeland. But some of them (mostly exceptions) can live in Europe for many years, but still in head they are planning to go back. In Europe they can't be honestly happy because their position there is inferior. The only reason why they are in Europe is not you, but money. Once they will get enough, they will come back to world, which they love the most. African bush which will give them all the possible freedom and joy without any real responsibility.
LIE NR. 5: HE IS POOR
Beachboys are not poor at all. They have a lot of money. Those who are not drunk whole the time can really collect the property and money from Mzungus and they really can have houses, motorcycles, shops, many things. Of course, they will not tell you, they will not show you. You will not know. If you would see how rich he is, you would be not helpful as expected. :) That's why in your company he will make from himself just the poorest person in the universe. Far away from the reality. If he will take you home, he will tell you that all what you can see there belong to his brothers. But he - himself is very very poor person and he needs your help :) Funny, isn't it ? But white women are eating all the lies without any problem. They are not poor. It's a lie. Beachboys cannot be pure, maybe some of them have more money than you have but they will never pay anything big for you, maybe sometimes they can pay you a soda in beginning or taxi to hotel - in beginning, also those who are very rich. They will never ever pay for mzungu (not in Africa), it's a rule. Then they can change in Europe, because in Europe they don't have any power and they need you there to cover their backs. So they can give you some money they earn (for energies or home costs or something), but in Africa - they will not pay for you, especially not beachboys.
LIE NR. 6: YOU ARE HIS FIRST WHITE WOMAN
This is very beautiful lie, everyone likes to hear that. You are so special, you are my only and first one. I have never seen any other woman beautiful as you are. You are the only one I have ever loved. :))) This bullshits from some fairytale you will hear at beginning. Beachboys had a lot of women, had, have and will have until they will be attractive for us and young enough. In this lie beachboy is not alone, because also you will be first white woman in the boma for his family. They will pretend they have never ever saw any mzungu in their home, you are the first one. (Despite the fact the last mzungu left his cottage few days before you came). All people there will tell you the same, they never saw white women before. Yes, again - this is truth but valid just for last minute. Last minute they didn't see any mzungu there, just you ;) That's true.
LIE NR. 7: HE LOVES YOU, NOT YOUR MONEY
This is most favorite lie ever. They are using this sentence as much as possible. Of course he will never stop to ask money from you, but he loves you, not your money. To see the truth is in this case very easy and it's working perfectly. Just stop to send him and stop to pay his costs (food, clothes, drinks, tickets, rooms, cows, motorcycle, phones and other costs for his family) and you will see what will happen with his love to you. He will block you. Without giving them money - no one beachboy needs you. For sex they have own women in the tribe. Also you will see how much he loves you, if he will find someone who is really rich, more rich than you. Then you will see the power of love. Power of love to money. If they will find someone who is more rich, they will replace you in a second. Doesn't matter if you are young and beautiful. If your beachboy will find an old woman but more rich than you, he will replace you. End of the romance which never existed.
LIE NR. 8: HIS FAMILY MEMBERS (OR HIMSELF) ARE IN HOSPITAL
This lie had already a big success in the life of beachboys many many times. It's very common and very favorite lie, always working very well. So, they use this always, when they need money. They have really big gallery of different injuries, documents from different hospitals with different diagnosis, they can really choose what they want depends how much money they need right now. From big bloody injury, until little piece of wood in their finger. And to be more authentic they can send you dramatic video with heavy breathing and pretending own death. Or often they send you documents from hospital, with a real stamp to be more trustworthy. And the way they are playing this role is very impressive. They also can cry in front of you with real crocodiles tears. You will see how good (or bad) actors are these guys. Remember - maasai man doesn't cry. If you will see how maasai man is crying in front of you, trying to tell you his mother is going to die if he will not find the money, you can be sure it's a theatre, just only for you. Also the money they ask for the "hospital", this money is never real. Healthcare in Tanzania is cheap and everyone is able to pay for it also without you. If something can cost 10 000 Tsh, they don't have any problem to ask from you 5 millions. They still believe, you are that one who doesn't have any idea and they will not lose the chance to get your money.
LIE NR. 9: HE IS IN THE PRISON - BY MISTAKE OR AFTER AN ACCIDENT
This is favorite story especially at Zanzibar. Again - for bigger authenticity, they will add the pictures with policeman and with the handcuffs or the picture from the jail with drama face. We have again more these pictures. And story? Story can be really different. Mostly they just hit the child with motorcycle. And now they need to pay for hospital, if not, child will die or they will be in the prison from now until FOREVER if you will not pay. (no, they will be not in any prison for almost anything, don't worry).
They can really ask millions sillings for this kind of non-existing issue. Of course, sometimes rarely someone can be sick but because they only lie whole the time, it's very very difficult to trust them. It's a price for being the liar.
LIE NR. 10: HE IS DOING ALL JUST FOR HIM AND YOU, FOR YOUR FUTURE
Beachboy is doing all just for you. For you and for him, for your beautiful and lovely future you will live TOGETHER until you will die hand in hand. This can be truth only in your dream. In reality they are doing all for their families in the bush and for themselves. You - as white women - foreigner and enemy - you will be NEVER part of his family, whatever you will buy him and whatever you will do for him. Just - no way. If you will be inside of the family, it's because you are paying. It's because of your money which they really need and want. But nobody needs and wants you there. You will see this in the moment if you will run out of your money. They will send you directly home. Also naked :) Whatever. They really don't care. Nobody there.
LIE NR. 11: HIS WIFE (HE LOVED HER A LOT) DIED IN THE BUSH
This is very common and wide used lie from the beachboys. He will try to tell you that he was married already. He married beautiful young woman from the tribe, his love from the childhood and they were very happy together. Unfortunately she was very sick and she died. Or she died accidentally, however she is not here anymore and now, he is destroyed and he has to take care alone about their children. How sad. But fortunately just a fairytale for you. To push you to send him money. You can be sure, his wife is completely ok, somewhere in the middle of the bush, well hidden.
LIE NR. 11: HE IS FROM ARUSHA :) (or from Kilimanjaro)
He is not. You can be almost sure he is not from Arusha. So. You will not find them on the beach. Maybe not impossible, but not easy. This lie you will hear on the beach whole the time. Try to ask random beachboy where is he from and the answer will be: from Arusha or from Killimanjaro. But gypsies on the beach are mostly from Tanga region, from Elerai (which is the center of beachboys), Kiberashi, Kwediboma, Handeni, Gitu or Songe. There are maasais also in Arusha, but they are not on the beach. Maasais from Arusha are very different. They treat their wives with respct. They are living the life like locals. Mostly in the city of Arusha. The maasais from Arusha don't have this typical stupid behavior, they are not organized as maasais from Tanga.
With list of their lies we could continue until it would be a book, not just article on the blog. So better stop here, with 10 most common lies which beachboys will use to get your money. If you will hear something from these 11 lies, just be careful. Probably, that guy is lying to you. Of course, some of them are really not married, some of them are really poor, some of them maybe hit the child with motorcycle, but the chance this can be a reality is really very low. Be careful, know the rules of his game and take a chance to win this battle ! And remember, you will never know ! This is the main rule in the bush. Of course if you will marry one of them and you will live in the bush for many years, paying of course all, slowly you will know more and more each day. But as a tourist, being there just for 2 weeks - you will not know any truth. It's not possible to see anything in two weeks long vacation and they count with that.
At the end some phrases to underline that they are telling truth or it can be just the way how to protect their lies:
LISTEN ! - very favorite English word. You will hear this often.
DON'T TRUST OTHERS, TRUST ONLY ME - I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS NOT LYING TO YOU. ALL OTHERS ARE LYING BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS AND THEY WANT TO DESTROY OUR BEAUTIFUL LOVE. AND LOCALS WILL ALWAYS LIE TO YOU BECAUSE TOURISTS LOVE MAASAIS MORE THAN LOCAL PEOPLE, SO THAT'S WHY THEY WILL LIE TO YOU, JUST FROM JEALOSY.
YOU UNDERSTAND? - this they use in case, they want to express they are really serious now, no fun anymore.
YOU WILL GIVE ME OR NOT - also this is very common, used especially in the cases when you will have problem to send them immediately in moment of asking. This is the way how press you to tell them answer they want to hear. Yes, ok. I will send you.. Sometimes this can be changed for "YOU WANT TO HELP ME OR NOT"
IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME ........................................ Then go to the hell. Your maasai.
Hahaha...how well put. I've heard all these lies over and over again.
ReplyDeleteWhen it's written here on the blog, it looks like the Maasai are being given a "How to lie to women" textbook because every beachboy sings these songs.
Young Maasai are now getting married at 22-24 years old, the wife is an extra hands to work in the family. And if the guy's parents agree with the girl's family, then the wedding is done as early as possible. Ransom cows can also be given to the girl's family for many years. For example, one cow per year. The number of cows also depends on the prestige of both families and how the parents agree. Of course, it all depends on the prestige of the family. Wealthy Maasai are willing to pay more for wealthy girls and very young girls.
Girls 14-15 years old are taken as wives. If a guy is 20-25 or 35-40 years old, then his new wife will be 14-15 years old. The reason is simple: Maasai parent families need strong young, hardworking, submissive and obedient hands, so girls are taken apart quickly and at an early age.
There are simply no more older unmarried girls left.
Another lie: I am married, but I don’t love my wife, because it was my parents who chose her and held the wedding. This has been done for a long time, but this lie works well for mzungu in love.
Now the Maasai guy himself chooses the girl he likes and marry according to sympathy. I will not say that it is for love, although there are such couples, but these are exceptions. Just for one simple and terrible reason: these people do not know what love is, they did not see it in their families. They were not loved, and they do not love. Plus, it is impossible to love a woman as a lower being, the purpose of whose existence is to serve her husband and her husband's family. But still, the Maasai are modern people who have long enjoyed the benefits of civilization, so there are more and more exceptions among wealthy families. However, these are isolated cases.
Iam a Maasai and iam so embarrassed, i have never been in Zanzibar but all these ten points are typically true and am not here to support the behavior of beach boys but not good idea when you generalize the facts that all maasai are evel, lazy, cheaters, sexual oriented ect this is a pesmistic point of view. You're using inductive reasoning (specific to general). Do you know what other people will think when they see the Masai? They will see evil even if are not! Also i believe that beach boys are not only the Masai but all tribes. But i don't know why you decided to chose Masai beach boys only, of course you said you have experience with them but this is too narrow if we want to solve the problem, is better to address all evel from beach boys and not from one group this will seen as a kind of discrimination because when you deal with one tribe and leave other beach boys, white women and men will continue to be cheated by other beach boys!! Or if the masai tribe are the one who bring all trouble in the beach let us know,
ReplyDeleteYou said we are not here to change them but i think is better to change them rather than display them in a negative way? Also for me saying masai tribe are Evel this is insunity to the masai tribe, remember masai is a big tribe (nation) is the true African identity!! So by saying masai are evel you insun all African! This is unlawful and can bring a special case for misusing the name of the Whole tribe just for few Masai beach boys who are searching survival with lack of education and poverty which erodes their minds!! Even me as a masai man I don't support this behavior if real doing, one day i heard a sad story of white women who deceived by Masai beach boys and i cried! Why because i know that we are all human we are equal before God, there fore we as masai tribe we don't support (like) what beach boys do for other people not only white.
Conclusion. Let us join together to oppose/eliminate bad practice done by beach boys from all tribes and not masai only and not using Masai beach boys to generalize masai tribe as whole, also try not point finger to someone by saying your evel because by doing this, you find yourself judging people without knowing, whereby in reality no one is supposed to judge others only God is the judge. Instead let us see masai beach boys and other beach boys as a group of people who are doing that what they're doing for their own interest because no one from their tribe or parents tell them to do what they are doing. For me I can use my little education and little influence to tell traditional leaders to check this scandals and find solution for them, also i will convince them to send their children to school because this can be a good solution although it take time but is a solution. Last but not least, am so sorry for what happened to you and to your friend as well.
Hello, thank you for your comment. Nowhere is writen that this blog is about ALL maasais in universe. This blog is about Maasais who are living on the beach, without any job.
DeleteWe can generalize in this case because ALL OF THEM BEHAVE THE SAME... We were observing their behavior for long time, making research and and what have we come to? ?? ALL MAASAIS FROM THE BEACH WITHOUT JOB ARE DOING THE SAME. Using same lies, same frauds, they are learning all this from each other and maasai community didn't stop them. ONLY MAASAIS THEMSELVES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE IMAGE OF THE TRIBE in the world AND NOBODY ELSE.
If you will find something what is not truth in the blog, just write us, we will delete it immediately. If truth is there, then you need to change behavior of maasais on the beach. No other solution, because truth will always find a way how to go outside to be visible, if not today, then tomorrow. In our group nobody has experience with someone else than maasais beachboys. And maasais have culture behind them who can really manage them, that's why they are different. Young maasais at Zanzibar are shame. Elders living there know everything and they are happy with that. They will not stop them because other maasais have also profit from beachboys. Maasais beachboys are those who display themselves in negative way, not this blog. This blog is only reflection of reality, it is try how to warn women. Nothing more. Change that truth, image of maasais is in your hands only.
We don't insult all Africans. We are talking here just only about maasais beachboys, jobless individuals using love and trust of someone in very terrible way. Use mzungus, I don't care, it's ok and I can understand it, use mzungu and make better life next to her, but then be nice to her !!! don't beat her, don't steal her money, don't lie to her and don't cheat on her. Maasais beachboys need to stop to hurt other people, if they will not, then they will take responsibility as EVERYONE ELSE. If I will steal money from someone , I will go to prison and nobody will help me to go out. Maasais are not special, why they should have special priviledges and why their crimes need to be tolerated and respected?
Unfortunatelly these beachboys are not just a few. This group is growing each year and why ? Because they can see what all they can have by frauds. They will not work anymore. If they are few (elders know EXACTLY them) send those FEW back home, and problem will be solved. But I see all the criminals daily on the beach. Each single year, the same faces + new faces. With arrogant smile on the lips. I know destroyed women behind them, nobody cares, but poor maasais are sad because of blog. They should be sad because of behavior of their own people ! Not because of blog.
We would like also to find some solution. We are on the mail, you can contact us. Every effort from inside of maasais community to stop crimes on women will be great.
And what is not fair? To hurt other people, destroy life of someone else and never be punished or at least judged by community, this is what is not fair. All the beachboys are very respected at home. Why ? If I could see that other maasais feel really sorry for situation, and they are trying to stop them... But no. This I don't see ! And all these in the blog is known very well. Only new tourists don't know, but all locals, all mzungus living on the island, all old tourists who are repeately coming back to island, police...elders at Zanzibar..all of them know all what is in this blog. Because beachboys today are not hidding anyting. Feel free to write us an email to find a solution. Thank you. And don't forget... once someone on the beach has maasais clothes and he will do some kind of crime, he needs to understand HE IS THAT ONE WHO MAKES BAD IMAGE ABOUT MAASAI TRIBE... Stop those who are shame for your culture, if it is just few people, send them back to Ronjo. I am sure you know, who is it.
I get you. Now we have a plan as educated Masai we want to call a big conference as Masai with our Leaders and young Masai men, boys and teenagers to find a solution this problem the best way is education, i know is not easy and the current beach boys but what we are carering is the young generation. We must do this.
DeleteDear masai!
DeleteYou write beautifully, but like other masai, you present lies and more lies with sweet words! The fact that you are educated is great, but the fact that you live among criminals, protect them, befriend them, sit in a bar - this indicates that you support them.
What beautiful and great masai culture are you talking about? This is the basic lie of the masai to themselves. That the masai culture has created something beautiful, great and useful? NOTHING. Maybe the culture of circumcision of girls and boys is fine? Or the use of women as slaves for all hard work or as servants for all occasions, including as sex toys? Or the laziness of the masai men (it is about this that one can already compose songs)?
You say that all this is due to a lack of education. And that the masai can't find work and have to go to the beach. Lies from the first letter to the last. And you know it very well. )))
When there is no education, people learn a craft, work with their hands, create something (goods, services), sell it and have honest money.
People all over the world do just that. Everything is absolutely!
Many educated Europeans have several university degrees and many different craft courses to be able to do things with their hands. This is what a beautiful and great culture is - to be able to create something!
What crafts are studied by the masai? What crafts are taught by their elders? NOTHING
The big question is why? The answer is simple: masai men do not want to do anything, they have created for themselves the conditions for a lazy life, where they do nothing and are not responsible for anything. To change something means to rise from a warm place and start working, and this is simply IMPOSSIBLE for the masai.
So there is no need for hypocrisy. You understand that masai men will not change anything, everything suits them. Change always comes through hardship, loss, deprivation and pain (this is true for all people/nations, not just for the masai).
Something can change when there is no more free land for free grazing of cows (which has long been absent in developed countries), when it becomes expensive to keep cows and the number of cows will decrease sharply. Then the masai will start looking for additional opportunities and will understand that they need to learn to do something else.
In the meantime, everything will remain as it is .... unfortunately ...
Dear Masai! I agree with you completely, the beachboy behaviour is a discrace for the whole tribe, because most tourists see only beachboy Masai and if bad experience, they can easily spread this unfortunate conclusion of all the Masai around the world. It is very bad situation for all Masai and the honest people do not deserve that kind of publicity around the world. Your situation is hard and that will make it only harder. But there are problems with almost all the beachboys!
ReplyDeleteIts very nice of you to help with talking to elders, checking the scandals and advising to educate young Masai. I would like to suggest, for your help to be better, not just wait for big scandals. You have very good english and you can really help a lot in this situation!
I think there should be a place in the internet, a social media group, a blog or maybe only email adress of a caring Masai representative as yourself! Where every white woman who has trouble with Masai can turn to. Many women dont want to come out in public so you dont know most of the scandals and troubles, but for you Masai it would be very important to find each and every one of these beachboy who cause trouble and make them pay back the money they succeeded to get by manipulating womens feelings! It is the only way to make others stop the bad behaviour if there are real consequances to it, if they see, that their own Masai dont accept it and that they cant get away with these frauds, that they have to take responsibility and pay back. Create a site or an adress and you get information of the Masai who are making the whole tribe look bad.
Yes I get you Madam, also i don't think that you hate us maybe you love us!!! Many times i heard about this stories but now the situation is too worse, we as Masai tribe (Community) we must do something great even from Small area coz it wil spread slowly untill we change the mindset of our people ( Youths) i know now they are very addicted with this behavior! So our purpose is not only to change the current beach boys but critically young generation, this is because the young generation may adopt this behavior as the habit it so painful 😢
DeleteI know the very big reason, for this problem is ignorance! Most of the Masai tribe were isolated they live in country side far from school, also it seem that the Maasai are not much poor compared to their neighbors ( Swahili) as the results many of them lacked opportunity to go to school but also most of them rejected school due to luxury life that existed that time e.g availability of land, water, grasses and conducive climate, this environment, made them not see the future. After climatic change and population increase, the Maasai encounter the challenges from climatic change.
There fore due to this changes Masai are forced to find alternative way of life in the town and cities to survive, but due to lack of education and skills they find themselves engaging in easy jobs like guardians ( security) and Beach boys.
Again because of lack of education, they don't know much about external World. E.g rules and regulations, human rights, even their rights!! And human dignity. Thus why they engage in shame activities like that we are talking about. A person who is educated can never really on another person to survive he/she know the rules that it is illegal to depend on someone to survive only God, but most of them they are not aware of that, there is a good saying to explain this '' come easy go easy '' ( unknown) this is a law and we know that when break the law, you know what follow Failure! There's another good saying which says '' tough time create strong men, strong men create easy time, and lazy men create tough time'' most of our community stayed in good environment with their livestocks and lack the opportunity to go to school which is tough time which create strong men who create easy time. Lack of education is the big factor for all these. And remember that most of the parents has never been to school they're same with their children.
For those who went to school, they know tourist and tourism, tourism is simply a leisure time to enjoy life after stress is not good to disturb them like this unless they themselves want to interact with you but beach boys has no such idea! In short most of them are not educated although they know different languages but this is not the meaning of education. I known also generosity is very important but not like this!
Is so sad because this people are my tribe were previously very respected but please don't let this minor group of people to make you forget the beauty and respect of the true Maasai culture not only you but the whole World. As we see changes happening the Masai are not in an Island they are also affected by changes either positively or negatively. But as Masai we must take this problem into consideration because it is destroying our image around the world is more better for Masai beach boys to find their own identity and not portraying negatively our beautiful culture and tribe for their own interest.
Thank you very for seeing this challenge but let it be the turning point to our community and not only staying it and leave it as it is.
Hi.. Guys once again I'm glad that another maasai appeared on the comments list just to say about the reality I had said before because the purpose of the blog was/ is /will not be bad if equal judgement given from both sides... I think no one is against inter marriages between maasai and white but the issue to maintain status quo not to each other as a Maasai I already started to mobilise some educated maasai to come up with solutions on this and I hope we will get a good solution.. but also I still suggest that if there is an option to to do you can remove the name Maasai since you include the whole society into a bad reputation from under class and culture of fatalism people
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately it's not easy to remove the name Maasai.. as you can see, it's everywhere, especially in URL address, if you think, this blog was finished in 5 minutes, then not.... it took us a lot of time, energy, not only to write articles but all technical details and background, registrations..... so not easy to remove word Maasai..because it's everywhere... . and especially this blog is about MaasaisBeachboys only, so very difficult to remove Maasai from it...
DeleteIn the blog, on many places is written, blog is about maasai beachboys, those who are jobless, walking the beaches whole days and HUNTING PEOPLE THERE... what maasai beachboys are doing on the beaches has ALL SIGNS of real hunt.. They cannot hunt people, if they want to hunt, then animals in the bush, but not people.. Stop them, educate them that white women are also human, that nobody has right to destroy life of someone, and send those worst back home. there in the bush they can make shame, nobody will be witness of it.
There's a lot loveable in Masai. Even the worst criminals know how to behave, to be polite and at least act respectful with other people. That's why Masai beachboy are different, you never find so nice behavior with swahili or other beachboy. Also they are intelligent to talk to. And I believe it's because of the tradition and how they are taught back home. I also believe that in some level they sincerely want to experience love and connection, romance at least. Maybe they even need to be loved more than the traditional relationship allowed, they just don't know how to, they have no education about spiritual connection between two people, but sure every human longs for it and when a woman expresses love it sure feels good. So it's possible, to some point even beachboys are sincere, just the need for money eventually ruins everything.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I think it's not enough to teach just the young and maybe even more important is to deal with the more experienced ones. Because they are the most effective teachers to their younger brothers and friends, they get to them first, before any educational program can reach them.
The first thing must be targeting and dealing with the experienced ones who have already succeeded in manipulating women. They must not get away with their crimes and have to take responsibility. They can't heal the hearts of broken women anymore, but at least they can pay back some of their money. It's important for the younger to see, that after crime comes punishment, not easy life . But not just punishment. If you want something to get better, it can never be just punishment or hate, there has to be love always. I believe all crimes come from lack of love.
As much as I now understand of Masai culture, we westerners can learn from them much, how t lol ve in harmony with nature. But there is a thing, that the whole Masai culture and community can, and I think must learn from the west. That is the value of love and spiritual connection between people. That this is sacred and not to be betrayed. Most of all the 🐑 nine side of it is probably not so familiar with all the Masai. That feminine affection and care is not just some part time job of an inferior being, but it's actually the base of everything human, it's where we all come from when we are born and our mothers care for us with unconditional love. Masai mother's do it too, it's basic human instinct and gives us safe and secure possibility to grow up strong. That's why women must be respected and cared for as equals to men. Women are different, but equally important - this is a knowledge that Masai culture lacks today and this must be taught to the young, but also to these lost souls, who use women, but enjoy their affection until they break their hearts. That's the education for grown Masai warrior of hat is in my mind the most neccecary, that a man who can't respect women, uses them and even abuses violently, this man is worth nothing, this man is just a baby, a coward, disrespectful, a shame to everyone.
It's very difficult to change that, since in their culture women have been seen and treated as inferiors and slaves for hundreds of years...
DeleteI was talking to a Maasai man about this, a decent guy, and he told me "I know it is strange for you, but for us it has always been like this". And this is a good guy, I think, who told me many times how much he loves and respects his mother. I have asked so many men about their women, at home and 99,99% were not interested at all in improving things for them. It was very frustrating for me (and probably annoying for them to be pestered with this kind of questions).
I was also told many lies, that things are changing, that they are not allowed to have several wives anymore etc. The very rare people who are trying to improve the community do not grt support from their peers or elders, unfortunately. Also those who have money are never punished for anything...
I'm so glad I found this blog, and like someone was saying here in the comments it's like they are given an instruction manual as to how to deal with mzungu. So far I heard he is not married (what are the odds of this for a 29yo man), he was going to get married but the girlfriend fell sick and died, and now the father is sick and needs a large of money for the treatment (and this is with a so-called friend, not even lover or boyfriend).
ReplyDeleteAnd also the invitation to visit the village where they haven't seen white people :)), it would be funny if it wasn't so sad...
BTW it's terrible they marry the girls at such a young age, when they are still children... Horrible and inhumane practice, just like the circumcision.
ReplyDeleteIn fact I was discussing with some Maasai men and I told them in the Western world we have laws against child marriage and they were very surprised. I can't help being disgusted at the thought a man would willingly marry a child... It just makes my skin crawl.
And I see so many white women romanticizing the Maasai culture and saying how happy and nice everyone in the villages is - when you go behind the facade and masks, there is a lot of abuse, unhappiness, deceit and lies. Behind the nice masks, the truth is ugly...
It's their culture and we don't have any right to judge them. To judge them - is one thing.. To accept and to idealize what they are doing is different thing. Western people with all the knowledges about human rights, about biology, can never ever talk anything about BEAUTY in that culture. I would be just quiet about that, but I really don't know how I could look into mirror after I would tell someone that to marry 13 years old child or treat a woman like a shit in better case a servant - is a beauty. Of course it's not. Maasais live good life in the way of lifestyle - eating healthy food, spending all the time outside in the nature, yes. This is beautiful. But rules inside - nobody with heart and brain can agree. But still what is good - the women and children - they really look happy. They don't know anything else, they don't think to much in which way they are treated. So then. What is more important. Those girls are happy to be married and they are waiting only for that. For them to be married and to start having children as soon as possible is the same happiness than for us to find really good job, or have a good man.. They don't know about the world outside, they don't know they could be treated in different way. And terrible surgery devastating body of woman - it's the effort of women, not men. The mothers are brainwashing their own daughters. Like only in this way you can be REAL woman ! so, it's brainwashing from women, not from men. And again - the girls can't wait for that moment. It's incredible but it's like that . So, we can accept the culture because it's not our business at all, but we really cannot talk nonsenses about it, like how beautiful culture, how beautiful people - no way. Once some human rights are pressed to be zero there, it cannot be beautiful culture. But I don't feel that I have a right to put my nose to their culture. Why I should, why I could. I only can say my opinion and that's it. It's their life and they have to decide how to live. They could change something inside, the question is if they want to.
DeleteYes, I know the older women are pushing for circumcision, and the tragic thing is now that it became illegal they are doing it when the girls are very young, hiding, with even more health risks.
DeleteAlso of course the girls want to be married and have children because they are indoctrinated from a very young age - unfortunately once they get married it can be the start of a lifetime of abuse, I met some Maasai women and heard some stories that made me cry like a baby...
Both men and women are the victims of their culture, unfortunately.
As to why so many Western women praise the Maasai culture and lifestyle, I have come to think that maybe it's just a way of convincing themselves they made the right choice, and it's easier to just avoid thinking about the ugly aspects of it.
Mostly we have all information from men because women cannot speak English in most of cases. I would like to ask them but not possible because they don't understand me and they only can smile at me - nothing more. I would like to talk to them in honest way but how when they don't speak English and Maasai language is crazy, no books - no big chance to learn. Maybe some of them can speak swahili. But I believe, once a girl will be married, it's starting of abuse. In many cases and in many ways. But it's their culture, not ours, so, what we can do. Just let them to live their life as they want.
DeleteAre these comments approved prior posting..
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry for the situation you found, but I want you to know that Zanzibar is an island where you have come to relax but it is not a place to come to find a man or a woman and no one is forced to help or send money to the Masai, but it is true that I cannot deny that all the Masai are good and some are good because no human being is perfect with all that, why haven't you thought about relationships between young people, having relationships with people who are older means that there is a question mark in them that should be known
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