MY MAASAI HUSBAND

 

Let me introduce you my Maasai husband. His name is Ole (but I can hear that others call him by different names so who knows if really), he is around 26 years old (but he doesn't know exactly his age so maybe he is 22 and maybe he is 35) and he is from Arusha (but for some reason all his brothers, cousins, sisters and friends are from Kiberashi), but my Ole - only him - he is from Arusha. Also his boma is near Kiberashi. Strange, isn't it? But who cares. He is selling the traditional Maasai jewelry on the beach and it's his job. From only this job he is alive. At least he told me this. He doesn't need to buy stuff for shop, because his mother  and sisters are doing bracelets for tourists but from some reason he is still asking money for his shop. I am always giving him the money, I also don't know for what exactly. He is very poor guy and he does have almost nothing. He is so poor that until today he could not get married despite the fact that everyone in his age around him is married already. But this my Ole isn't married, because he doesn't have any money for buying the wife. Maasais are such beautiful people that they are buying the wives in the same way as they are buying the cows. But my Ole didn't buy any until today. And white women are for free, Maasais don't need to pay for us - what more we have to pay for them. How lucky I am. My Ole was at Zanzibar for first time when he met me. Imagine that coincidence. First day at Zanzibar and he met exactly me ! How lucky I was! Never before he was there and never before he saw a white person. I am the first one - the only one.

Me and my husband  - we communicate mostly by using hands and legs, or by mimic, Ole is not speaking good English but he can say some simply sentences he needs to say. For example: "give me money" or "send me money" or "buy me motorcycle", or "buy me cows", "buy me the plot", or "my mother is sick", "my small sister is dying", or "take me to Europe", "take me to Bali" or "it's funeral tomorrow I need money" or "it's wedding tomorrow I need money" and of course basic sentences he needs as  "I love you", "I miss you" and "go home to earn money for us". He just know exact those sentences he needs to know, it's enough for him. Where the love is - you don't need any language and my Maasai husband  really loves me. He loves me so much that he gave me special Maasai name "Nashipai". I am that chosen one, so special for him that me as the only mzungu among the Maasai got the Maasai name. It means "beautiful one" or something, so finally the man who can appreciate and notice my beauty. The white men never gave me special name but my Ole - he gave me. As a proof of his deep and big love to me. 

I am 15 years older than him but it doesn't matter. He tried to explain me when sometimes I feel bad about our age difference that for the Maasai the age is only a number. So, I was lucky to find such a beautiful culture where nobody is judging no-one for the age and also young men can marry older women and nobody is laughing because of that. Only strange thing is that I never have seen in the bush the Maasai who has Maasai wife older than him. Because the age is only a number for the Maasais, such couples where the wife is older than a man have to exist in the bush. I will try to find them.

My Ole is also very lucky that he met me. Before our meeting - he never had any girl friend. Poor guy, he was so lonely until I came into his life. And I am his first girlfriend, first wife and of course I am the first mzungu he ever had a relationship with. All in one :) Also first sex he had - was sex with me. By miracle he knew everything when we met, he also knew how to kiss. And all that without any experiences with a woman so probably it's a talent from the God. Yes, my Maasai husband is a very talented person. In the bush he also knows how to find the grass  for cows and the water ! So big talent he has. Not everyone is as capable as my Maasai husband. Lucky me! He can find the grass for us without any problems. Such a strong and powerful man!!!

My Ole has also many other different talents. For example the talent to spend my money which I gave him in just few minutes. I would like to know where he is spending always that money but he doesn't like me to ask him. So better I am quiet and I don't ask. Otherwise he could be angry and upset. So better I always give him the money when he wants and that's all. We are very happy together in this way. While I am sending him enough money for his life and for the life of his family, everything is pretty ok.  Problems with money can really put his mood down quickly so I try to hold him happy so I send him money each time he wants and  also when he doesn't ask (just for sure to avoid the problems tomorrow). 

He likes money a lot ! Also he likes the trips, and traveling with me. We are always on the way. Visiting together many countries. I have to pay for all the costs, for flight tickets, for hotels, for buses, for clothes, for food, for VISA, just all not only for me, but also for him, for his comfortable life next to me. Sometimes I pay also when we are far away from each other. He likes to be without me, he told me he needs to rest because he is not used to be with a woman each day, so he is happy when I am home and he  can be in Tanzania or Zanzibar without me. All he needs from me is money, so it's enough to send him wherever I am and he will be satisfied also without my presence in his life. I love him, so I want to see him happy, that's why I am many times alone in Europe - trying to earn enough money for us to hold our marriage alive. 

He can't support me or help me in any way, because he doesn't have any money. Before he was also trying to work as security in hotels but he didn't like to work. He told me that nobody will give him any orders and he also told me that the job is nothing for the Maasai because Maasai needs to be free. And because Maasai doesn't like to obey. He is a very special and strong man and work is simply not for him. But it's ok, I can work for both of us and I can give him money. Some people wrongly think that he only uses me. But it's a lie!!! I know and I feel deeply in my heart that he would love me also if I would be very poor. Our love is clean, honest and especially UNCONDITIONAL. If I will once spend all my money, he will take care about me and we will live in Tanzania and I will be there his wife. Then he will pay all for me, for us. We will have  children and he will start to work and earn money as normal man. This will happen but for now it's like it is. But he is not with me because of money I am giving him each day. People are so limited in their minds. They don't know anything !!! They don't understand well what true love means and all the people telling badly about us, about my husband they all are only jealous and they envy us our happiness. Because he is with me for love. And not everyone is so lucky to find and to meet true love. That's why people envy me my Maasai husband. Finally I found the man who loves me. Thanks to God, I feel such thankful for having him. He doesn't support me as white man would support me but it's not important. Love is everything, love can feed me !  

Not only him honestly loves me. Also whole his family including neighbors and cousins, and also cousins of his cousins loves me ! They all love me! Especially they love  to send me for shopping. I always need to buy everything for them. Soap, rice, maize, vegetable,  clothes, sugar, chai and also the beads. Especially they love me every time when I am buying the cows and goats for them. They all honestly love me, it's such a beautiful feeling to be a part of his big family. They adore me! Not because of my money I am giving them almost daily. No ! Just their love to me it's from their pure clean hearts. Sometimes I ask myself how could they ever live without me? They are so lucky to find me. And I am the first mzungu they have ever seen. They have never met any white person before I came to Boma where my husband Ole is living with his parents and siblings. His mother, father, his sisters (he has really many sisters) and also his nephews and nieces. He has really a big family, as big that he doesn't know how many children are in the boma (but he knows very well how many cows he has). That's why he is not in hurry to have children with me because many children are already there, next to him. For sure my Maasai husband doesn't have any own children (he told me this) but he takes all the children in the Boma as his own. He told me it's because he never loved any other woman and he could not imagine to have a children with woman he doesn't love. But with me it's different. I am the only one in universe he loves and he had ever loved. He told me If he will ever have children, then only with me. He also told me I am special one and only I can be a mother for his children. I feel so privileged ! I feel like one of them, like a white Maasai !  These are finally the people   who see how special I am. Finally the man who knows what a love means. I will give him a child, because without me he would  never ever have any children and it would be not a nice thing, because my Maasai husband really LOVES children. And then we all will be one big beautiful family. They will be my family and I will be their family ! Finally I will belong somewhere. They all love me for who I am ! So beautiful people ! They don't use me at all ! Of course I am paying all for them but it's my responsibility because I am more rich, that's why I need to pay for them. We white people have money for free, without any effort and of course it's not fair. And don't forget about our white guilt during colonialism, we owe it to them and therefore we have to pay all for them forever. 

My Maasai husband is very jealous. It's because he loves me so much and he doesn't want anyone to stole me from him. I am always telling him that nobody can stole me from him, because I only love him and no-one else but he doesn't trust me ! So that's why I cannot speak to other Maasais, I can't even spend any time with them. When Ole is not next to me - I have to be closed in my room, waiting there for his return. I am not allowed to  be at beach alone. He also told me that it's more safe because if he would not protect me whole the time - probably someone bad from local people could easily kidnap me or maybe hurt me. In worst case - someone could kill me ! I am very thankful that I have my husband who protects me 24/7. I feel so safe with him. Also he gave me very good advice : "Don't trust anyone , trust only me". So I am following this advice each day. Sometimes other people are telling me that they saw him with different white lady, and some people told me that he is married already, having children in the bush but I don't trust them, exactly as he told me ! He is such a clever guy - and I have to be careful because people are jealous and they all want to destroy our marriage and our relationship. I ignore such people, who are talking badly about my beloved Maasai husband, I don't trust anyone, I only trust him. He would never lie to me because he honestly loves me and our love will last forever. I don't have any doubts about it.

My Maasai husband has many sisters back home in Maasai bush and sometimes he is very angry with them. He is shouting so much when they don't obey him quickly or when they will make a small mistake. When I ask him why he is so mean, he always tells me they are not normal women like me, they are stupid like cows and that's why he needs to shout at them. Some of them he is beating. When I ask why he is beating them he always tells me it's because without beating women can't understand where is their place where to stay or what is the right way where to go. So that's how they can understand. My Maasai husband doesn't beat me too much, only sometimes. Mostly he punishes me with silence. Maasai women probably deserve to be beaten, so I don't care. He always explains me it's for their well being to be beaten. It's his culture and I don't have any right to judge it. So I don't do it. While I am quiet and obedient wife he will not beat me. I am more smart than Maasai women, I understood this already.

His family prepared for us our wedding in the bush. Of  course, for my money but it doesn't matter. It was a big ceremony in the bush, many people were invited, only Maasais, brothers, cousins, all mothers, or fathers,  all siblings and also neighbors, just everyone who was nearby was invited by my husband. It was very expensive event. First I asked him if it's not too many people - then we (ME) have to pay a lot of money for food and drinks, but then he was very upset with me and he didn't talk to me almost for 3 days. Then I felt very ashamed for my behavior and for my questions. Better in the future I will always pay what is needed and what he will ask and I will not comment it. All the speech about money is making my husband mad and upset. 

My Maasai husband is a very busy man. Always when we are in Tanzania, he put me to his mother cottage and then he  disappears for whole day. I am there, in the bush, alone, nobody understands me there, waiting for him. Sometimes he is not coming for couple of days without telling me. I have to be strong because I am a wife of the warrior, so that's why. But I feel good in Boma, there are many children around me, jumping with happiness, always waiting what I can give them, some of them ask money, some of them only sweets, so I always give them. Then they will love me. Everyone in Boma loves me ! Such a great feeling. The unconditional love you can't experience anywhere in the world, only in Maasai Boma. Yes, I pay all for them but it's not  important. They love me and not my money. They honestly don't care if  I am rich or not. They just adore  me, sometimes so much that they want to take everything what I have, also my underwear. They ask for my rings, sun glasses, jewelry, my bracelets, clothes, they ask also for my tooth-brush, shampoo, they ask my bra, my shoes, just they want everything what I have. There are so cute always wanting and asking all what I have. If I don't want to give them - they are offended. So better I give them all what they ask. I don't need too much, I can humble myself, why not.

At Zanzibar I am also often alone. My Maasai husband is working hard, on the beach whole days and I can't be with him there. He told me I can scare his female customers out of him. I wanted to help him with shop, but he doesn't want me to be there at beach next to him. So I have to stay at home, in the bungalow I am renting for us and  waiting for him. Sometimes he is on disco, he told me it's business trip. He is trying to get money for our life but until today he didn't give me one shilling. But I am very patient person and I am still waiting for the day he will start to pay for me. 

My Maasai husband Ole is such a good man, he is often sending my money back home to the bush or sometimes he is giving the loans using my money to his Maasai friends if they will ask. Mostly they never give him back. So still I am that one who needs to pay for everything for us alone. For our house we rent, for all the food, for transport, for drinks, I am also that one who is buying him 'newest fashion" clothes at Darajani. He likes GUCCI slippers, so he has to have them and also the pink t-shirt with letters "BIG BOSS". Also always he wants new sun glasses and the big chains for his neck. He like to pose like that, he needs new pictures for his Instagram account. He needs to show how rich and how successful and strong man he is. He doesn't like to mention me that much, because  he doesn't like when the people will think that I am paying for all. He is trying to earn his own money working very hard on the beach. He has to walk with white women for many  hours, sometimes also during nights, that hard he is working.  He is very diligent in effort to sale the bracelets. I am very proud of him. 

He is also very skilled guy. Expert for everything, with a lot of knowledge. He can solve each situation in our life. He always knows whom to call to fix something broken in our house, always using my money to pay for the service. But to know whom to call it's very important. I can trust him that he will take care about everything what will be broken. For my money. Such a skilled guy for the life, really. Once I gave him to drive my car and he was driving alone with automatic gear almost for 800 meters on the straight side road ! I could not believe how skilled he is. I was very proud of him that evening ! He was also very proud of himself because immediately he pushed me to take picture of him (and also video) how he is driving and then he put it on all his social networks. Not every man is so brave and so capable - to drive a car alone ! 

My Ole doesn't have any fear from almost anything ! In age 14 when he started to be a warrior, he killed the lion with his own hands. Yes. The lion !!! Imagine ! My Ole was just staying in front of adult big lion with empty hands and he killed him ! He supposed to kill him with a spear, but in that day he has forgotten his spear at home, so he killed him only with the hands ! Whole the village was so proud of him, I wish to see that ! It's so sexi for me to imagine how brave and fearless my husband was in the battle with the lion ! So I know he will protect me always and in each situation ! We never met the lion in the bush so he could not show me his bravery again, but I don't doubt about his skills. Only what can I say is that he doesn't like the dogs. When the dog at Zanzibar is barking at him (and there is no fence between him and the dog), he is almost white in the face and he is really scared, holding my hand firmly, shaking from fear. But I am not scared of dogs, so I can protect him ! He also hate police. He can't even tell a word when the police catches him. He is so scared poor guy, that I feel really sorry for him always when I see  him near the police officer. He is always very scared, almost transparent in face, The Maasai men in general are very scared also because of white men. They don't have any power for rebellion when the white man is nearby, with the police the same. I don't know why. They should be brave as warriors but sometimes (many times) they are not. But for me it's enough that my husband killed a lion ! It's a direct proof of his bravery. Nobody saw it but I trust my husband. He would not make a story, he doesn't have any reason to lie to me in such important thing ! Not every white man would know how kill the lion with the empty hands. Maasais are such brave people, it attracts me ! They are not weak cowards at all however it can look like that. Who think that Maasais are cowards - doesn't know them. In reality they are very brave ! Especially inside of their Bomas. 

My husband is also brave in the bed. Our sex is very good. It lasts sometimes more than 10 seconds! Before he was trying to catch me - we had sex very often. It was very short but at least it was often. Now he is always tired, so we don't have sex that much as before. He told me I need to  understand he is tired  from hard work at beach and he has to spend a lot of time with strange white women each day, of course that poor guy is so tired. I understand it. Sometimes he needs to take a medicine to have the power  to make sex with me. Next thing which is very different with a Maasai is that my Maasai husband doesn't care about me in the bed, he only cares about himself but because I love him - it's enough for me. He explained me this is how real man has to behave in the bed. To ejaculate as fast as possible and after go away. So I accepted this way of life. 

I am happy when I can just be next to him because many times he is letting me to be alone. So I need to learn how to be more  thankful for small things. He is teaching me so much  ! I love how I am growing up each day next to him ! Before I expected so much from a man and still I didn't have enough to be happy. He was  teaching me (and he is teaching me this each day) how to be happy for almost nothing. I feel so thankful. 

My Maasai husband really hate all the paper works maybe because  he has real troubles with reading and writing. So whatever is going to happen, I am that one who has to solve all. Organize things, buy flight tickets, he is just waiting, sitting somewhere ,chilling and browsing TikTok. Good for him that I am a mature woman and I know what and how to do, if I want something. Of course, I can't expect any help from him. It's so cute, it's like I have small  baby instead of a man ! I love him so much. 

Once I remember that I  felt very lonely and sad next to him and I asked myself in my weak moments WHY and FOR WHAT I HAVE SUCH A HUSBAND who cannot or doesn't want to  be supportive partner for me. But then I finally understood everything ! This is the true love !!!!! Only love which is unconditional - it's real love ! If you have a husband who is helping you,  who is supporting you, who is loving you and giving you the proofs daily, who takes care about you, if you have a husband for whom you are a priority - THEN IT'S VERY EASY TO LOVE SUCH A PERSON AND EVERYONE CAN DO IT.  But try to love someone who doesn't care about you, who doesn't give you anything, who only takes from you whole the time, giving NOTHING ! If you will be able to love such a person - then it has to be a TRUE LOVE. True love has no questions and no doubts. It's here because it's here and it's the only reason why. So I am happy that finally I experienced a true love ! First time in my life I understand what love means. Thanks to my Maasai husband Ole ! Annoyr naleng orpayanlai :) 

                                                    Nashipai