WHAT CHILDREN MEAN FOR THE MAASAI

Children and world of Maasai is next topic you need to know to be able to understand YOUR SITUATION in your  "great and lovely relationship" with a Maasai beachboy. Or with a maasai in general. And you also need to understand the situation to know - which kind of father you are going to give to your child once you will start to think about the pregnancy with a maasai.

All the maasais you can meet at Zanzibar are married already. All those beachboys in the age between 20 - 35 are married, some of them have already second wife and all of them have children in the bush. Also having children in Europe is not rare case,  but you will never know. Never. Maasai will never tell you what you don't need to know. Having a wife and children is exactly that kind of information :) 

As the maasai "wallet" you really don't need to know if he is married or not and how many children he has. Maasais have already family in the bush, they already have a wife or wives. They don't need you for having children and they don't need you for having sex. Only what these people need from you is money. And they will get it soon. And believe or not, they have NEVER enough. Never enough money and never enough children. Why children ? In maasai culture the question of having children is directly connected to wealth and money. In which way ? Let us to explain all:

Maasais have children as an investment. And they are so selfish, they don't care that they cannot give to their children any good life and any good future. They will make as many children as possible from selfish reasons only. To get as much money as possible from their  children in the future.

In Tanzania there is no social system, especially not for Maasais. Maasais are completely out of system in the country. It means they don't get any money from the government when they are going to be  old. What they need to survive in the older age is having children. More children they have - more money they will get in the future from them. And that future is not far away. Just around 15 years.

WHAT MEANS FOR A MAASAI TO HAVE A DAUGHTER:

If the maasai has a daughter - he will get directly money for her from her husband. Maasais are selling their daughters in the same way as they are selling the cows. If the girl is around 15 - she can be sold by own father. After that girls are not staying home. Once she is married, she has to go to family (boma) of her husband and stay there forever. Sometimes she can go back home to visit her mother and siblings for short time only, but mostly she needs to stay in new boma and take care about new household. A woman costs around 15 cows plus some money on top - depends on many different attributes. Mostly is important the family which that woman is coming from. Women from good families are more expensive. But what means "good family" for Maasais? Honestly - no idea. For Maasais is important how the woman is able to take care about cattle and how many children she can give them. It's also possible to pay only part of the price for her at one time and later the rest. It's all about the agreement between those two families. And because in Maasai community is well working their own jurisdiction - it's not possible to cheat. For example someone will marry a Maasai girl and he will not pay for her. This is just simply not possible because of Maasai courts in the community. Everyone there has to accept the rules. And if not that Maasai - his widely family needs to pay. 

After the woman is out of family, in each case her farther will get money (or cows) directly to his hands. And it's not just few money. It's a lot of money. Cows are expensive and price is stable. Of course there is some kind of risk because cow is an animal which can easily die. By sickness or by accident (snake bite, injury etc.), also cow can be stolen. But still maasais keep the property in the cows. (how clever).

When the woman is in new boma - she can deal sometimes with violent and aggressive husband. Maasais men are often and without any problem beating women for little mistakes. When the husband is too aggressive or violent, his wife can run back to her family to complain. Unfortunately it will not help her that much, always she is sent by her father back to her new boma, however terrible her husband is. But once again there is one advantage for the father of the girl. Her violent husband and his family have to pay "a fine" for trouble. More terrible the husband of your daughter is - more money you can get as her father. How beautiful, isn't it? At the end the woman has to go back to him and no way out. The divorce in maasai culture is possible but VERY RARE and VERY DIFFICULT. Probably also very expensive and many people are then involved in it not only direct family members. 

WHAT MEANS FOR A MAASAI TO HAVE A SON:

To have a son is different case. The boys are mostly staying at home in boma with their wife/wives and children and parents. Each woman of Maasai man needs to have own cottage. Women don't live together. They live in one boma but not in one house. So, boys are staying home, taking care in financial way about family and, what is most important - they have to feed their parents (especially fathers) until they are alive. All the guys at Zanzibar are for their fathers the only source of stable and regular income. It's a big pressure because as a son you HAVE TO respect your father and once he asks the money - the son has to find for him and send him as soon as possible - the best immediately. More sons someone has - more money he can get each month. Maasai men don't work - they only wait for money from their sons who are at Zanzibar hunting white women, having already money from selling their daughters. Beachboy is a great job because beachboys are getting a lot of money and big part of it they are sending home to their fathers and wives. That's why nobody in the bush complains about beachboys. Beachboys are today very respected in the bush however terrible crimes they are doing. Beachboys means money and if he will stole money from someone else ? Nobody cares from where the money are. Nobody from people in Maasai community will ever ask that question. Money is money and the main thing is that money from beachboy will end at home in the boma. Nothing is more important. Everyone in the bush exactly KNOWS from where the money are. White women are for being used and it's ok like that. Nobody has a problem with it.

So as you can see - maasais have the money from their children. In western world - the parents are paying for life of children and supporting them. In maasais culture - it's completely different. 

And this is also the reason why nobody cares who is biological father of the child. Once the wife of someone has a child - that child is automatically his and he will get the money from that child in future. It means also in the case when everyone knows that biological father of the child is someone else - that someone else has NO RIGHT to get any money from his own biological child. 

That's why nobody cares that much who is the biological father. Many times fathers of some children are the brothers of husband. More children the wife of someone has - more children her husband automatically has. And it means money for him in few years. Money almost for free because he doesn't need to take care about children (women are doing that). The maasai man especially in warrior age can stay at Zanzibar also for 15 years, having fun with white women - no problem. Or moving to Europe for couple of years. And after that he will get money from children he almost doesn't know. How beautiful. Children are very cheap. Little ugali each day - sometimes clothes but mostly they have clothes after their older siblings so to have a child is a great investment. Only few costs but a big profit after 15 years.

White child is the same story. Maasais believe that white child will support them with money in the future as other his children have to. With a white child they expect to get more  money in the future. Because maasais believe all white people are rich. So this is the reason why your maasai will try to make you pregnant for each costs. He will press you. It's not because he wants the child with you. It's because he wants to make an investment to secure his future with money. All the beachboys at Zanzibar are without their children for long time and they are ok. Some of them are moving to Europe - seeing their own children once a year. Everything is ok. Children are not for emotional connection but for getting money in the future. Sooner the child will grow up, sooner the maasai will get money. How beautiful. And is very common that maasais are in Europe only for short time and then they will leave their European wives and they will return to Africa. In the old age they will start to call with their white children and press them to send them money in emotional pressure. How beautiful future for the child - having such a father.  

If that maasai will tell you he wants the child with you it's truth. Finally truth. But the reason why he wants to have child with you is  little bit unexpected. It's not because of love to you. It's only an investment and the assurance that you will not run away easily. And you will support him until forever. If not you then your poor child who will be a hostage of own father in the day of being born. Be very careful if you are thinking about having child with a maasai ! It will be big complication not only for you, but also for your child. The parasites will try to suck you until rest of your life and after that the story will continue through your child. To be sucked for eternity by a parasite is not any good life and to give this kind of future to your child is not very responsible decision. For many women is already to late. Each year new "cappuccino" baby are starting their life at Zanzibar, followed by the father who won't give them anything for the future. 

At the end few words about childhood in maasai bush:

GIRLS - they have to start with hard work in very young age. Around 5 years old they already need to help to mother, who has to do a lot of things. Washing the clothes very often - cook daily - bringing water - collecting woods for fire - take care about the cattle and about smallest children - build or fix the houses while the men are sitting in the bush, eating meat and talking hours and hours with other men about nothing. Little children have to help to mother with everything, they have to bringing heavy bucket full of water from places far away from the boma. They have to obey mother in everything and in very young age they will start to take care about younger siblings. You can see often how the girl in age around 5 is carrying new born baby whole day long. After hard childhood in age around 13 they are going for terrible and dangerous surgery (circumcision) which will deform them and damage their bodies forever, causing them a lot of pain and problems in the future. After all this misery their father will sell them to their maasai husband in very young age and they will need to leave their home if they want or not. If they are ready or not. Nobody will ask them.

BOYS - it's better life from beginning but also boys are abused and used by adults. The job for boys is mostly connected to cattle. They have to take care about the cattle in the bush and when they are little bit older - they need to take cattle away from boma to find better food (better grass) and mostly they stay outside just in the poor tent eating ugali for many weeks, sometimes longer. Also they are and they have to be the cheap servant of selfish and terrible "morrans". They have to obey them in everything. But at least after all the misery it will come a day of ceremony when they will become to be warriors. In this day - they misery will end for boys.

The adults abuse children in maasai bush and this is what children can see as normal. That's why they don't have any problem to abuse others once they themselves will be adults. They see it as normal, that's why they don't have any empathy with others as adult people.

Mother is mostly warm but very busy with all the stuff she has to do each single day. And mothers often idealize their sons for no reasons what makes them spoiled and feeling superior. And father is emotional unconnected heartless person. Girls are living with mothers for long time (until they are married and they will not leave home) but boys are living alone among other boys in the same age set very soon, spending more times with other boys than with own mother. This all - especially emotional unconnected and cruel father is leading the boys to grow up into damaged person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder exactly as their fathers. And this is a cycle - it's hard to go out of it. Let's hope with new generation and with globalization - seeing life of white people more closer - something will slowly change in the maasai bush but. They don't want to change anything, because they are proud (from unknown reason) for their culture, blind enough to see bad things inside.

So you need to know about all this before you will end in the relationship with a maasai. Because one day you will face all the consequences from all mentioned in this personal blog and it will be very painful experience. If you will decide to be with a maasai - try to be ready for it.